How to Deal With My Boyfriend's Family

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I actually ended up breaking it off with my ex to be with him. Many people with ADHD have trouble moderating their emotions. Should I just stay away?

I know we love each other, I mean we've been there through times, and his family loves me, and I really so love them. Who would ever wanna ruin your beautiful skin and amazing personally for sour plums who only want to poke finger and be nosey? It has been 5 months now and we have not been in contact with his crazy ex wife.

How to Stay in Love and Keep Your Relationship Strong

And that makes total sense! What if your parents or other family members disapprove of your partner? This can be really tough. It might make you feel terrible or torn between your family and your partner. You might even want to ignore what they say and just shut them out or from them. Those are pretty common first reactions, but it can be helpful to think through the situation further. Would keeping your relationship a secret from your family make you feel good in the long run? It might seem like the easiest solution, but remember: all healthy relationships are built on trust, respect and , and that includes your relationship with your family. Ask them why they have an issue with your partner. Do they feel that your partner is too controlling? Do they not like the way your partner talks to you? Ask your friends what they think about your partner. Do they have the same concerns as your family? You can always call, chat or text with a loveisrespect peer advocate if you need more help! Disliking someone based on these factors is called prejudice, and that has more to do with your family members than your partner. How you handle this depends on what kind of relationship you have with your family, whether you still live with them, and how safe you feel with them. You could suggest that you all try spending more time together so they can get to know your partner better. Dealing with relationship issues and need to talk to someone? Call, chat or text with us! Tags: , , Hey there! My partner being my first serious love and I have broken up twice. The first time because he lashed out on me and said a lot of hurtful things. The second because of Long distance. We are in South Africa and he is going to the States to study further. Something I regret because I get influenced by them a lot. If he gets really mad and hurt, he lashes out and says things that are difficult to take back. He had apologized for everything he has done, even mentioned specific things which is something, because he has too much pride to apologize. I forgive him very easily, and I manage to dust myself off. I love this man with everything in my being and I believe him when he says he is working on himself. Although, I can imagine a life and a family with him as clearly as if it were a reality already. Something that might be important to keep in mind is that, while anger is something that everyone experiences at some point in their life, there are healthy ways to deal with that, and lashing out and saying hurtful things is not okay. You deserve to be treated with respect all of the time, not just when it is convenient for him. It is great to hear that he may have recognized that his behavior in the past is problematic, but his apologies are not something that should stand alone as a fix for his unhealthy behavior. They must also be backed up by change in how he is choosing to work through his anger and how he treats you. You deserve to be happy and prioritize your own needs. In a healthy relationship, partners work through issues together in a way that does not require one person to be resilient to personal attack. While it sounds like you are an incredibly strong and resilient person, it may be important to ask yourself if his hurtful way of addressing issues does not change, when will that strain on your emotional wellbeing start to seriously affect your happiness? It can be really tough for friends and family to see someone they care about in a situation where they are concerned for your wellbeing. It seems like you really care about your partner, and it has to be your choice about how to proceed with your relationship and what the best options are for you. While it is easy to imagine what a life with him might be like, it might be important to keep in mind that expectations are not necessarily reflected by reality. A healthy relationship is built on trust, respect, and open communication, and if you are the only one in the relationship willing to consistently work toward these principles, the relationship will not be healthy. Because we are a national organization based in the United States, our options for giving local resources for support in South Africa is not something we are able to do. However, if you are able to call us 1. The unfortunate part is he met my much older sister prior to meeting me. They were only friends and never dated- but because he is closer to my age- my sister told him about me and showed pictures. One day I met him at my house and we had an immediate connection. Several weeks later he found me on social networking and we became friends. We had been talking for months and before we knew it- we were crazy for eachother. We decided to start dating. Ever since my sister has made the relationship a complete disaster. Mind you- they never dated. She refuses to acknowledge him as ever being someone to join this family. My sister is incrediby selfish and stubborn and shes the type to hold a grudge and never let go. This dispute has also cause my mother to disapprove of my relationship since day one. Shes rarely friendly when my boyfriend comes to visit. Shes even gone as far as to say shes waiting for me to move on and meet someone else. Regardless of this treatment, my handy boyfriend is always willing to lend a helping hand around my house. Im in my mid twenties and im absolutely crushed. Ive made it clear to my family it was never my intention for this to happen- but sometimes you cant predict love. The perpetual stress my family has caused is breaking me down, like Im sure theyre hoping for. Most of all, its not fair for my boyfriend do be treated with such disrespect. You deserve to be safe and treated with respect in all relationships, not just intimate ones. What should I do? For your family to not support your new partner is very frustrating and it can be confusing. It is clear that you care about both your boyfriend and your mom. You have a right to pick the partner you want and to have others in your life support that decision. What you can do is to make steps to reach out to your family and have them learn more about your partner or to express your boundaries when it comes to your family talking about him. Ultimately, you are the only one that can decide what is best for you. We have been together almost a year and moved in together about 7 months ago. While its been a tough road based on us moving in so quickly and my children, its began to work its way out smoothly. It is frustrating and somewhat hurtful for me because I expected more support from my family and it is important that both our families are approving and supportive to some extent. We love each other and I feel this is a strong, valid relationship. Should I not put so much worry on what other people think? Any advice is appreciated. If you want to talk more about the situation or how to reach out to your family, please feel free to connect with one of our advocates. I have been married before and they were never a fan of him either. My friends think my partner is great and makes me so happy. We are at the stage of moving in together and getting engaged. The big issue I have at the moment is my sister is getting married next year and we are close however she is not allowing my partner to the wedding. I have asked the family on numerous occasions what there problem is with him to which they cant answer. I am now contemplating not being a bridesmaid at the wedding as going alone knowing my partner is sitting at home will be horrible plus he would have been great at keeping the kids entertained. I love him so much but this situation is tearing us apart. It sounds like your family is putting you in a really difficult situation, and if they are not able to offer any reason for their disapproval, this is not something that you can take responsibility for. You deserve to have your choices respected. With the wedding, you know your situation best, and how you choose to proceed will have to be something that you decide. It may be helpful to talk through the options with your partner. Checking in with each other about where you are at in thinking through the issue, what options you both feel comfortable with, and what each of your needs are in working through this can be so helpful. You can feel justified in prioritizing your own wellbeing through this, and if your family is compromising that, setting clear boundaries with your family may be something that would be helpful to consider this talks through setting boundaries, and while it is written in the context of someone in a romantic relationship, there is still overlap in many of the principles for other relationship, such as with friends and family. If you would like to talk more about this situation and get talk through ideas for how you might approach working through this issue, I encourage you to reach out to us directly. At this point, it seems that what you and your boyfriend each want are very different. Deciding to stay or leave a relationship is a difficult choice to face and one that only you can make. It sounds like there is a big difference in what you and your boyfriend each want for your relationship. They say that he is not right for me. My family cannot stand him,and i never understood why as he is a very nice person,and I believe its all because my fiance,the father of my kids has money and takes very gud care of us,but behind all the lavish lifestyle he does not treat me well,he is emotionally and at times gets physical with me,but around my family he is very loving. He went and had an affair with one of the ladies i knew as a friend and had two kids with her,and he made me keep that as a secret so he wud not look bad in front of my family. I want to liv him so i can be with someone i love and he is there willing and waiting for me to decide,but im scared of leaving as my fiance has promised to take my kids from me,he is an attorney with lots of connections,at the moment im scared i will not be able to provide for my kids on my own,will i be a bad mother to leave my kids in their comfortable home,will they hate me for abondoning them. Will they understand that i can only see them on holidays and weekends,please someone out there help me,i have neva been so scared of my own life. It sounds like the situation with your fiancé is dangerous and scary. Unfortunately, we know that abusive people will often use their children as a manipulation tactic to keep their partners trapped in the relationship. He has no right to threaten you or the kids or to use them this way. You have the right to decide what you do in your life and that includes whether you stay in this relationship. Safety looks different to each person because what each of us needs to feel safe is different. It may take time to find the best options for you and your children and I encourage you to be gentle with yourself as you work on figuring all of this out. She has 4 kids and I have 1 kid, I sold my house and I bought a bigger house for all of us. My parents and family do not like her and now I feel like its effecting my relationship with my kid, who I see on a very limited basis. We are in therapy and what only after 8 months of being together I do not know what to do. Please feel free to share your thoughts. I can imagine there were a lot of factors that you and your partner considered, especially around your children and the new family you created. It can be really overwhelming when you realize that a lot of changes happened quickly, especially when they are big changes like buying a house and moving in together. My family disapproves of my relationship. The thought of him brings out a side of them that is not appealing. We were back and forth throughout high school and some of college. Both guilty of lying or cheating in that time period. When I found out I was hurt because I was still in love with him, but I was dating other people and we were not together. My family is a different story. They hold grudges forever. We were kids and I was no angel. We are working on trust and our communication. I hate drama it gives me anxiety. The communication with your family sounds unhealthy, especially around the topic of your partner and that can be really hurtful to hear. You have the right to decide what information you share with whom in your life. We have a page, , that talks about conflict resolution and you might find the info helpful as you work together to figure out the best ways to navigate this situation for both of you. We are not boyfriends and girlfriends yet, but we both really like each other and would like the relationship to get serious soon, which is why I told my mom about him but she does not approve and wants me to stop seeing him. That is absolutely not true. Everything is mutual and consensual. As the article above describes, her dislike of him may be based on prejudice instead of grounded in a tangible concern. That can create a very challenging environment because there may be little or nothing you can do to shift her perception of him. How to move forward with this is something that you will have to decide. It seems like you feel happy with entering into a relationship with this person, the he fulfills what you feel you , and that you feel confident about how the relationship will be. You should have the opportunity to pursue your own relationships. If you would like to talk through your situation or explore options for working through this, I encourage you to reach out to us anytime. I love this girl alot she is everything to me. My granny liked her but she charged after my lil brother come back home. I love this girl she is my futer wife and I did buy the engagedment ring. Its easy ask her to marry me. For your family to try to come between you and someone you care about is very stressful. You are the only one that can decide who is right for you. You have the option of expressing that you love and respect your family and that you also love her and want her in your life. Trust, communication, respect and equality are all really important parts of making a relationship healthy. You both definitely deserve a relationship built on these qualities, and it might be something to reflect on as you decide if you would like to make things work or move on from here. We would also be happy to help talk through some healthy options for moving forward from here. My name is Tiffany I can relate to some situations that is similar to mine! We talk weeks before dating. First few days he cooked for me,gave me massages, spoke nicely to me and so much more l. So days after she moved out I forgave him and tried to work it out do we did and everything went fine I introduce my son to him and his kids and we did things like a family but once he started getting comfortable with me his whole attitude started to change; he started calling me names,punching on me when he get mad,smoking,drinking and all do I tried to distance myself and told my family about what was going on and they wanted me to stay away and leave him along,he apologized numerous of times bit I feel like sorry is not enough! It sounds like you have been through a lot of upsetting and complicated situations in this relationship and that is definitely not your fault at all. It is actually very common for abusive partners to be very charming and attentive in the beginning stages of the relationship. They are great manipulators, so while this can seem like positive attention and care at first, it often is a sign of their need for control and power over you and the relationship. You never deserve to be put down, hit, lied to, or made to feel less than in the relationship. Healthy relationships are all about RESPECT, open communication, and trust, not manipulation and power. It sounds like your partner has been both physically and emotionally abusing you and that is not something that you have to go through alone. We really encourage you to contact us directly so that we might better be able to safety-plan with you and talk about possible options moving forward. Thanks again for reaching out and keep staying strong! And he has a awesome heart. But one time I went out with him and I met his family. His aunt jump in and said that nasty so me I explained myself. I then said I am ready to go. Anyways the aunt got in the car yelling at me calling me names and everything so me I started defending myself. Then we went out one not and his baby Mother and her friends come up to him so I ask who are they he said his baby Mother. I have never been put in these positions in my whole life. And I love him so much. Every time I am around his family I say hey and I am silent for hours. I even feel he is dealing with his baby Mother. Maintaining open communication about what has been going on with your boyfriend is really important, and you always have the option to tell him that you would rather not be around his family or ex-partners. My parents are Indian and have told me my whole life to stay away from people of this religion. Even my sibling raised in the USA disapproves of me being in a relationship with someone of this religion. I am deeply in love with this man and I feel that I am stuck between choosing him and my family. I tried telling my sibling about this man and he said he will stop talking to me if I stay with this man. I also mentioned it to my mother and she was fine with it at first but now says she has heard stories about other women marrying within the religion my partner is and getting divorced, converted, or abused in the longrun. She keeps trying to introduce new men to me now. I am temporarily living at home and will be moving out soon. What do you think I should do at this point? That sounds like such a difficult situation. Your wellbeing and happiness are really important and we are always here to offer support. OKay so basically six months ago I met this guy at church and like we started talking. Basically six months later we are talking about a relationship. My grandma who I live with met him once and immediately put judgement on him as she found out a little bit of his past because I willingly told her. Not knowing at all how he treats me or how he actually is. And his parents are ten years apart as well and I get some of it because so are we. So it completely makes sense that this is confusing and upsetting for you. If you are honest with her and openly communicate about the things you are doing, it might be easier for her to trust you and then eventually your new partner, as opposed to you being dishonest and not letting her know what is going on. It seems from what you are saying she is going to judge him no matter what you say. So it might be better for you to maintain your trust and support from her rather than lie and cut her out completely? Eventually we became very close over a matter of months and, In a nutshell, we eventually started to like each other. Before our first homecoming, he asked me to go with him, and I of course said yes. I was really hurt and upset, and he immediately regretted his poor choice. In a nutshell, my family and all my friends found out and were very angry with him, as I was. But he apologized many times and I ended up forgiving him after a matter of time, because it seems like he has changed quite a bit. We both have a lot of feelings for each other, and we have gone on a couple of dates. However, my friends and family do not approve of him at all because of what he did to me. Earlier today they caught me communicating with him via text and were very angry. I claimed that we are just friends, but they did not even approve of that. I really want to start a relationship with this guy, because I really like him and know him well and I think he has really changed, but my family seems to never approve. How should I approach this situation? I want to be happy, but this is really getting in the way. You can only control your own choices. Communicating with them regarding their perspective and your own to see how you might work through this issue in a healthy way may be ideal. However, if their opinion of him is not something they are willing to reconsider, that can definitely put you in a really challenging situation. While can seem like the least problematic choice, at some point, your relationship will likely come out. One thing that may be important to consider is how you want that information to come out. If you can make that happen on your own terms, that can be important for maintaining a positive relationship with others in your life. That can be so stressful to consider, and if you would like to plan around what that might look like for you, that is something we would be more than willing to work with you on. If you would like to talk through this further and explore further options for working through this, I encourage you to reach out to us, anytime. So I am a lesbian. Not even to sit in the car while she runs in and out. She says she loves me and that her parents actions are not gonna make her leave me but she is very family oriented. They are very religious people and they say some very hurtful things to her. I love this girl with everything in me and I want marriage and a family with her. They say you marry the persons family along with the person…. Any advice would be appreciated. That sounds like such a stressful situation for both you and your partner! You and your partner deserve to be accepted, exactly as you are, by both of your families. If you feel comfortable doing so, I definitely encourage you to talk through your concerns with your partner. It seems like you care about her so much, and you deserve to feel happy and supported in your relationship by those around you. Understanding where each of you stand, how your relationship might look, moving forward, and what each of you need for support through this may be helpful. If you would ever like to talk further about your situation or you are interested in exploring options for working through this, I encourage you to reach out to us, anytime. In addition, I encourage you to consider reaching out to the. They may have additional suggestions and support options available for you and your partner. He shows me how much he cares. I love my family to bits and I love my partner to. Just like self-care or healing, everyone expresses emotions and works through them differently and I encourage you to find what works best for you. Some options might be journaling or creating art about your feelings, or finding physical activities like running to release the energy. I just need advice for my current situation. Me and my bf have been together for almost 10 months. During our first few months of dating, I wanted to introduce him to my family. She just judged him by his appearance since he had two tattoos. From that time onwards she was suspicious of me. I had to resort to lying just to avoid conflict. I met his family already and they strongly approve. He says I should not stress much about it. Just wait for the right time. Can anyone give me advice? I can imagine how hard it is to feel that you need to lie to your family in order to keep the peace. Often, finding what works best for you means trying various ideas until you find one that works, and we understand that the trial-and error process can be frustrating. I encourage you to be patient with yourself as you work through this. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship that is built on respect, communication, trust and equality. It sounds like this has been a tough situation. We would be happy to chat with you about what has been going on and help you talk through some options moving forward. We began dating at the end of senior year, and have now been together a little over a year and a half. He is incredibly smart and I think he could come off sometimes as being arrogant, but he is also incredibly kind, especially to my family. It sounds like a really frustrating situation! If you have already worked to communicate in a healthy way and talk with your family about your concerns, and they have not been willing to reconsider the way they are engaging with you and your partner, unfortunately, that may limit your options in addressing this with them. You only have control over your own choices, and that can feel so overwhelming when others make hurtful choices that impact you. You deserve the space to make your own choices and to have those respected. I encourage you to reach out to talk with us further about your situation! You will be connected to an advocate who can talk to you about healthy relationships and dating abuse issues. Our page talks a little bit about what to expect and how we help. That sounds like such a difficult situation. One great resource that can offer support around issues with family members if Your Life Your Voice. They can be reached over phone, text, chat or e-mail. Thank you for your time. Thank you for bravely sharing your story with us and reaching out for support. I can hear how much you care about both your family and your boyfriend and how much it hurts to keep your relationship secret. It takes a lot of courage to face a situation and be honest about the challenges you see. In terms of possible options, as the post says, we encourage you to think about what might be safe for you. Given that you live with your family, talking to them about your relationship might not be safe. It sounds like you have a healthy relationship with your boyfriend and that you two are able to talk about the situation. Having understanding and support can be incredibly helpful in getting through this situation. We met through a ex of mines. But something told me to give him a chance. I know that he has children and he has a past. SOME know him from his past life and others know him through me. I have given our love a chance but I am dealing with everyone telling me they protecting me from him. When my mom comes at me like I am protecting you. One because they have children with these men and done a lot of stuff to them but never approach them like she approach me. This pisses me off alot. I want to make my own mistakes. I really love this dude but how do I get away from people who already hate him. In the saying is this is all games but I know he really loves me. I really sad, angry and disappointed about all this my mind is crying why me all the time.. It sounds like the situation with your family is so hurtful and we want you to have all the support possible. I can hear how hurtful it is that your mom talks to you differently than your sisters. Every relationship should be healthy, including the ones we have with our families and that includes communicating respectfully, especially about different opinions. As the expert in your situation, you know what will work best for you. One option that might be helpful to consider could be setting boundaries with your family about your relationship. I am such in a weird situation right now.. Am so exhausted with thinking and feeling so bad about the situation with my boyfriend right now. It sounds like the changes in your relationship have been so challenging so both you and your boyfriend. It seems like the situation is affecting your relationship at this point and I can hear how much that hurts. We have some great pages that might help, and. You can reach us by phone 1. My girlfriend was only trying to help me win the situation over because I am 18 and it was legally and rightfully mine. I really need help, please respond thoughtfully and take into consideration that I feel I have tried so much already, literally. If you need additional support about this, I would encourage you to reach out and talk with one of our advocates. You can reach us by phone 1. I know it might seem childish or immature due to our age, but I sincerely believe that with the mutual respect, love and trust that we have we can build a future together. My parents have expressed concern since they realized I was hanging out with him a lot. I feel that a lot of their concerns are built on prejudice. That sounds like such a stressful and upsetting thing to go through. That can be such a hurtful thing for you and your partner to experience, and unfortunately, if they are closed off to the idea of being accepting, there may not be a way for you, or him, to change their minds. It might also be important to talk with him about how each of you might feel if their disapproval continues. If you would like to talk more about your situation, please know that you are encouraged to reach out to us, anytime. I did not tell my dad about it because i wanted to know my boyfriend and see if our relationship really works or not during these 5 years. As i deduced that my relationship was serious,i decided to announce my othordox dad about that and he was very angry. When i told my dad about my boyfriend, he refused to meet him instantly. I was very heartbroken. My mum just loves my boyfriend and accepts our relationship. My boyfriend has a good job, just finished building his house, neither smokes nor drinks, well he is what all parents would dream for a potential husband for their daughter. Dad told me that he will never accept my boyfriend because he is a hindu despite my mom trying to reason him. I decided to complete my course, get a job and marry my boyfriend next yr. Please can you advise me. I really really want my dad to accept my boyfriend because he is someone very good at heart. I can hear how hurtful it is to you that your dad refuses to accept or even meet your boyfriend. As our blog post mentions, disliking someone based on factors like race, religion, sexual orientation or appearance is called prejudice. It sounds like your boyfriend is very caring and your mum is supportive of you and the relationship. Talking with your mum and your boyfriend about the situation might be really helpful, both in working through the stress and taking care of yourself and also, possibly finding ways to talk to your dad about the situation. If you would like to talk more about your situation, please reach out to us anytime. We are both very determined to stay together but it is hurting her more and more each day with the restrictions and hurtful words we get from them. Is there any way I can solve this and make them see the bigger picture, acceptance perhaps? That must have taken a lot courage so I am glad that you did. It sounds like what you are experiencing is really awful and hurtful so it makes sense that you are confused at what to do. Maybe it could be a good idea for you to talk to her parents directly about what is going on? Or if that is too much, maybe coming around more to make yourself more known? What you are experiencing is prejudice, so you are definitely not at fault at all for your sexual orientation, and neither is your partner. If the two of you want to have a healthy relationship with each other, your families should not be getting in the way. You always have the right to cut off contact with your families if you want to choose to remain in the relationship but the stress of your family is causing it to suffer. It sounds like they do not have very healthy boundaries and are not respecting your autonomy to choose your partner, which is absolutely your decision. That must have been such a difficult thing to experience, and should have been a time when you felt support from them rather than criticism and their desire for control over your life. It must have been so hurtful that they used their death in order to push their agenda on your relationship. It sounds like your situation with them is very complicated, and it may be helpful for you to reach out and contact us directly so that we can talk through it and help you with processing it and figuring out what the best options are for yourself. We met at work where he was my manager. I left that job so we could date without having an issue at work. This is not a relationship out of rebellion. Does anybody have any suggestions? In from your mom, it may be important to keep in mind that the information that the two of you are dating may come out at some point. Being able to choose how that information is shared with your mom may be helpful. A difference in age does not mean that the relationship is inherently unhealthy, but there can be some red flags of unhealthy behavior that it may be helpful to be aware of, some of which are addressed in this article:. You deserve to have your choices respected, and ultimately, the way that you choose to move forward with this is something that only you can decide. He is 32 doing his own Bussiness. He is from india. I spoke to the whole family of his. Been 10 months n v liked each other so finally his mom asked me to tell my parents regarding our relationship and I approached and told my parents. At first my dad agreed n spoked to his mom and ask them to come malaysia. Before that my dad asked one of his friend to check on their background. It was positive about their family but then he said they are not that well to do family. But actually it is a fault statement because he jus started his Bussiness 2 years back and manage to buy apartments, land and his own car. Upper middle class family. I argued and for past 2 days I never eat and sleep so, my dad decided to call the family again for my sake cause they already booked the tickets and I felt bad. They came and when they are here my parents cooked dinner, had birthday celebration for his mom and they spoked nicely. And our status is different than yours and was so rude to them. Moreover, my partner wanted to talk personally but my dad never gave him a chance to talk. All my other family people liked the family very much but only dad disagree. Both of us are so in love. I know I will be happy wit him n his family. And I need to convince my dad and he even humiliated his family and they are so sad and upset. My dad is arranging someone else for me. I want to live the life I wanted. You cannot control what your dad thinks or the choices he makes, so it may be helpful to think about what you want to do. It might be helpful to talk to family and friends you trust about the situation as you figure out your next steps. Having other perspectives can be especially useful in such emotionally charged situations, and may help you see things you might not otherwise. Our page on has lots of great ideas about taking care of yourself in different ways. Have been dating my boyfriend for over a year and a bit now. We are extremely happy and have a very good relationship because we are best friends. A few weeks ago we found out I was pregnant which was a shock to both of us me being because I thought i couldnt get pregnant because of health reasons and him because he was not ready for this stage in his life. Anyway since then we have been bickering non stop which is something we never do. The main problem is my boyfriend is romany gypsy and i am mixed native american and Caribbean and therefore his family who is close to wanted him to marry someone in the romany community. I did not know this however and had I known from day 1 probably wouldnt of been with him. Now I am pregnant he is very sad and confused and saying his family aunts,uncles mainly will disown him and he will never be able to see them again because he has had a child with an outsider and unmarried also with someone they have not met. I should be really happy about this pregnancy but this is making it difficult. I feel like its going to come down to a choice of him choosing his family over me and the baby which i believe is wrong. I asked him why did he go out with me in the first place if he was so into following his family wishes and he said truthfully he followed his heart and is very much in love with me he has said he cant let go of me but does not want to be disowned either. I am unsure what to do my mum and dad have agreed to meet him and possibly his family but i feel theres no way round this if they are so stuck in there ways. I think its really selfish and unfair if he leaves me and the baby for his family as he is a grown adult and should take responsibility for his actions and defend me by standing up and fighting for what he loves which he says is me. He has been constantly crying and upset he hasnt said he wont ever see the baby or anything but he has said he doesnt know how he will be with me as they wont support him. I do not know what to say when i meet them because I am really really angry. I do not know how any mother or family can encourage her son to have nothing to do with his child which i feel like she would do. He said if you marry an outsider in his family your family name is disgraced. I do not want any man in and out of my childs life and i do not think thats fair. That communication takes a lot of courage, especially in such an intense situation. It sounds like you and your partner have found yourselves having to figure out how to navigate this situation with his family, both as individuals and as a couple. When it comes to what you do, you have the right to make the choices in your own life and it might help to think about what all of your possible options are. It sounds like he grew up with very different beliefs and traditions than you did, and those differences are becoming incredibly evident with your pregnancy. Please feel free to let your partner know that he is also welcome to contact us anytime. You are the only one that can decide what relationship is right for you and how you want to move forward. From what you have shared it is clear that you care about you ex-step dad and he has been an important part of your life. For a relationship to be healthy each partner must be treated with respect and as an equal. Having someone who is in a parental role and older than you engage in a romantic relationship with you can make the power dynamics unhealthy. I want to let you know about our article on age differences in relationships and our article on relationships that must be kept secret. If you have any concerns about your partner respecting your boundaries and your right to consent to sexual activity with your ex step-dad, there is. If you would like to talk about the dynamics of your relationship or ways that you can heal and cope from the pain of this situation, I encourage you to reach out to an advocate. Take care, Advocate LC Comments are closed. Sidebar To search this site, enter a search term magnifying-glass Submit search query Submit search query About The loveisrespect blog is full of helpful information about dating and relationships, as well as campaigns, awareness events, and other cool stuff our team is up to. Feel free to leave comments, but be sure to follow our! 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Since my kids were 2,4. This can help you figure out how to address the situation. Google Hosted Libraries Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis. In fact, you have a responsibility to yourself and your partner to be clear about your con. We were kids and I was no angel. It sounds like your situation with them is very complicated, and it may be helpful for you to reach out and contact us directly so that we can talk through it and help you with processing it and figuring out what the best options are for yourself. They make you feel bad about yourself.